Amazing Funny Status in English:-

Funny Status in English

My style is unique don’t copy it plz!

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I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.

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if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious.

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I’m not failed, Because my success is lost.!

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Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.

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Man ask a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!

Funny Status in English

If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys..!

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I may be fat, but u’re ugly – I can lose weight!

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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up…

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When I was Born DEVIL said ohh shitt, competition

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Life is too short smile while u still have teeth.

Funny Status in English for Whatsapp

If I agreed with you we both were wrong.

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Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman…

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Your status won’t ever match my status neither in whatsapp nor in reality..

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80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% boys are having brain.

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If nobody hates U, then you are doing something boring.

Funny Status for Facebook

Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you are one of them.

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Totally available!! Please disturb me!!!!

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HEY, U ARE READING MY STATUS AGAIN??

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I love my job only when I am on Holiday…..

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Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful.. & Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity…

Two Line Funny Status in English

When your phone are 1% battery & anyone who sends a message, Or calling, Becomes the enemy ..

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Fact: Ph. on silent mode- 10 Missed call. Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!

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Attitude is like a underwear Don’t show it just wore it

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Always respects your self!

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My heart is stolen. Can I check your braa

One Line Funny Status in English

Save Water, Drink Wine!!

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Cigarette chodna sabse asan h- main hazaro baar chhod_ chukka hu…!!

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I’m cool but global warming made me vry hot

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Marriage is the cause of divorce.!

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Wife: I have changed my mind. Husband: Does the new one now work?

Funny Status for Girls / Boys

I just need a good Wifi & Wife.

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You can never buy LUV….But still U have to pay for it ..

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God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me every time!

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I’m not lazy, I am on energy saving mode.

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I want someone to give me a Loan & then leave me Alone.

Funny Status in English for Friends

I only need three things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep

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All the Rules are made.. to be break.

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Drunk people run on Red Light…, Normal people wait for them to turn green.!

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! I live in a world of fantasy, so keep ur reality away from me!

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When I actually die some people_ are going to get really haunted.

Funny Status in English for Husband

Brain is Intelligent !Why not have Everyone…

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God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me..

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I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer

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Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

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Alcohol will give different, type of power!..

Funny Status for Wife

If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking.

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I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them.

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People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…

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A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well…!

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No I didn’t trip …The floor looked like …it needed a hug!.

Short Funny Status for Brother

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

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Try to say the letter M without ur lips touching….!!

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Excuse me …. Please empty ur pockets …. I think U stole my heart.

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Etc Meaning – End of Thinking Capacity..

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High Power Come ,with High voltage Current!

Funny Status in English for Sisters

If U are still hate me! Then No Problem!..

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Brain is the best worker, When you can use it…

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I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

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my biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death…

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Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Funny Status in English for FB

when nothing seems right then go left…

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if I am wired with you then I like you.. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

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Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity.

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You can never buy Love… But still you have to pay for it…

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Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

Funny Status in English on Life

3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp,Facebook & GF!

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I don’t drink alcohol! but Feel Awesome..

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do not drink and park _accidents cause people.

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Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.

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Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

Funny Status in English on Love

God is really creative, I mean just look at me.

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Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

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When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the..

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I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

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My father always told me, find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

[plinker]

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